Proud of You
by MementoxxMori
Summary: Hermione Granger overhears a conversation between Professor Snape and the Headmaster that she had no business hearing. I fail epically at summaries but it won't kill you to give this one a chance!
1. Innocence Left the Room

Disclaimer: I own nothing and I'm still as broke as before.

This is loosely a SeverusxHermione drabble. Sorry, this isn't really a canon fic. Please don't send me reviews telling me how I didn't follow the story blah blah blah, because you'll just be wasting your time and mine. I chose to write the fic this way. This fic is officially complete, but I'm not averse to the idea of continuing it if I get enough responses asking me to do so. That being said, I hope you enjoy and please review!

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Hermione Granger was hastily making her way through the dungeons. As loathe as she was to admit it, they creeped her out. She practically ran through them during her patrols, and tonight was no exception. She rounded the corner and that's when she heard hushed whispers coming from the potions classroom. She crept quietly towards the door thinking she was about to catch a couple of students out after curfew. Suddenly, Professor Snape's voice boomed into the hallway, nearly making her scream out loud.

"Albus! Have you gone mad?!"

Hermione had never heard Professor Snape yell before. Sure, he got angry and lashed out at them, but it was always in his calm, silky voice. She crept into the shadows a little closer to the door, intent on finding out what they were arguing about. She just hoped to hell she didn't get caught in the process.

"Now, now my dear boy there's no need to get angry," Albus responded calmly.

"I'm not angry, I'm livid! You don't honestly expect me to deliver the brains behind their mission straight into the arms of that madman! Albus, I know what he is capable of. Once he's realized that trying to torture Miss Granger for information is futile, he'll either kill her or try to use her as bait for Potter. You know as well as I do that Miss Granger is far too loyal to her friends and our cause to ever give in to the Dark Lord. She'd accept death first."

Hermione stood wide-eyed in the hallway gaping like a fish. It wasn't because she might be handed over to Voldemort on a silver platter, but because Professor Snape had complimented her- _twice. _

"Severus, I know I have asked much of you over the years. The scars all over your body from Tom are a testament to that fact. But you promised me that you would protect Harry, because of your love for his mother. Are you turning your back on that commitment?"

Hermione's eyes hardened as she watched the door. The Headmaster wasn't being very fair.

"I have sacrificed my entire miserable life to this cause Albus, so don't you dare speak to me of commitment," he growled. "I will not sacrifice her life for the cause as well. All of these children are being thrust into the middle of a war they barely understand. I will not end Miss Granger's life for her before she even has a chance to live it. Find another way, Albus. You're a master of manipulation, so that should be an easy enough task for you," he finished venomously.

"Yes... yes, perhaps there is another way, but Severus if there isn't..."

"You _will _find another solution. This discussion is over," Snape replied, his voice still hard with anger.

Albus sighed. "Very well, I'll leave you now," he said, shuffling slowly towards the door.

Hermione quickly moved back down the hallway, pretending she was just now making her way in their direction. Albus turned and saw her approaching.

"Ah, Miss Granger, still making your rounds?"

She smiled, and she hoped it was as innocent as it was convincing. "Yes Headmaster, I'm almost finished." He gave her a smile in return and she swore his eyes were twinkling. It was then that she noticed Professor Snape standing in the doorway.

"Good evening, Professor," she said softly.

"Miss Granger," Snape replied, his voice taking on a bored tone, as it usually did when he spoke to her. The Headmaster watched their awkward interaction with keen interest and bit back his urge to chuckle.

"Miss Granger, I believe Severus has already checked the dungeons so why don't you head back to Gryffindor Tower?"

"Yes, Sir. Goodnight...to both of you."

"Goodnight, Miss Granger," both men said in unison. She gave them a small smile before walking down the corridor and eventually disappearing from sight.

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Time passed almost in slow motion it seemed. Though he never changed his attitude towards her publicly, Hermione never forgot the conversation she overheard between Professor Snape and the Headmaster. She knew beneath that cold, snarky exterior there was a giving, honorable man. She had to fight hard to hold her tongue when her peers would speak ill of him. Then came that fateful day when he lived up to everyone's less than stellar expectations of him; the day he murdered their beloved Headmaster.

Hermione sat stunned upon hearing the news from Harry. Her logical side kicked into overdrive. She replayed the conversation over again in her mind. "Find another solution, Albus," he had said. Her brow furrowed in concentration. Could this be the _solution_ the Headmaster had come to? It made perfect sense once she really thought about it. Though Snape failed to deliver the mudblood, he killed the one wizard Voldemort feared. Certainly that would put him back in Voldemort's favor, right? If that is indeed the case, then it seems the Headmaster found an alternative way to make Professor Snape do something else he'd rather not do. Hermione glowered at the thought. She had always thought that Albus Dumbledore stood for everything good and right in the world. But she had seen the manipulative side of him that most aren't aware exists. She knew it would only be a matter of time before open war was upon them. She hoped that wherever Professor Snape had fled to, that he was safe.

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Harry, Hermione, and Ron raced to the Shrieking Shack and hid in the shadows once they realized that Voldemort was speaking to Snape. Before they had time to register what was happening, Snape was attacked by Nagini. Hermione is about to run towards Snape but is stopped by both Ron and Harry. Once Voldemort leaves, all three of them rush to Snape's side. He gives Harry his memories as Hermione unconsciously strokes his shoulder, trying to offer him some comfort in his final moments. She doesn't take her eyes from Snape's form the entire time they're walking out of the shack towards the battlefield. After many strange turns, Voldemort is finally defeated. Harry pulls his two closest friends aside and tells them what he saw in Snape's memories. Hermione's heart ached for the man that had protected them so fiercely over the years. It was only when she was finally alone that she allowed herself to mourn him.

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Hermione stood in front of Severus Snape's grave and stared blankly at the inscription. She then knelt down and placed two black glass stirring rods with green tribal serpents engraved on them by the headstone.

"You don't strike me as the flowers type, Sir," she said quietly with a weak smile. She reached up and brushed his headstone and then hiccuped a sob. When she lifted her head, her face was wet with tears. She hastily wiped them away."I'm sorry. I told myself I wouldn't turn into an emotional, blubbering idiot." Sniffling, she reached into the pocket of her robes and pulled out a stereo, enlarging it to normal size and placing it on the ground in front of her. After a brief, sardonic smile she cleared her throat. "Yes. The know-it-all figured out a way to make Muggle electronic devices work at Hogwarts." There was a pregnant pause in which Hermione stared despondently at his headstone. "You'll have to forgive me. Surrounding myself with books my entire life has made me a bit of an emotional cripple. I'm not sure how to express myself to you but I heard this song on the radio and it reminded me of you. I hope you like it, or at the very least can tolerate my maudlin moment." She pressed play and the song rang out through the empty graveyard.

_Shadows set the mood  
Innocence left the room  
And all I know to do  
Is shed a tear for you_

_Oh oh oh oh oh oh  
Please don't be ashamed whether you win or lose  
I just want you to know  
That I'm proud of you  
Don't be afraid when your fight is through  
I just need you to know  
That I'm here with you_

_I can't watch you choose  
To pour salt in your wounds  
Now all I know to do  
Is say a prayer for you_

_Oh oh oh oh oh oh  
Please don't be ashamed whether you win or lose  
I just want you to know  
That I'm proud of you  
Don't be afraid when your fight is through  
I just need you to know  
That I'm here with you_

She wept through the whole song, thinking how more than ever, she wished he was here to sneer at her emotional display, or berate her with one of his cutting remarks. It didn't seem fair to her that after all he had done, he died alone in that dilapidated old shack. He should be here with the rest of them, celebrating the end of that madman. The song ended and she wiped her face again.

"I think this is the most I've cried in my entire life," she muttered. Steeling herself, she looked to the sky. "I actually came here to thank you. You see, that night I was doing my patrol in the dungeons, I overheard you and the Headmaster arguing. I just wanted to tell you that I appreciate you defending me. My only regret is that I never got the chance to say all of this to your face." She heaved a frustrated sigh. "It's so hard to put my feelings into words. I guess I'll just keep it short and simple. Thank you Professor Snape, for everything." She mustered up enough energy for one last smile and shrunk her stereo, placing it back in the pocket of her robes. Standing slowly, she turned and walked away.

"You're welcome Miss Granger," Snape whispered to her retreating back, before moving back into the shadows where he had watched her the entire time.


	2. Enjoy the Silence

First things first. I'd like to thank everyone who took the time to review this story. I know I didn't answer you all personally but I really do appreciate you giving my story a chance. I guess I also didn't make it quite clear enough what the song I used in the previous chapter was. It's called Proud of You by 10 Years. I'm someone who is heavily influenced by music and so for each chapter I'm going to tell you guys what song I was listening to while I was writing. For example, for this chapter I listened to Enjoy the Silence by Anberlin. It was originally done by Depeche Mode and also covered by It Dies Today. Anberlin's version seemed to fit the mood better though so I went with that one. :) I'm sorry this chapter is so short, but I've been told by others that my stories have a natural progression to them, making them more realistic. I didn't want to take away from that and I figured there were enough surprises in this chapter. The next chapter starts off with everyone's first day back, focusing most on Hermione. Thanks for your support and I hope you enjoy the chapter! Please review!

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Hermione stood in the middle of the chaos that was platform nine and three-quarters looking for Ron and Harry. They had decided to spend the remaining week of vacation away from each other after having spent the entire summer together helping rebuild Hogwarts. Her trunk was on the ground beside her and her arms were full of a disgruntled Crookshanks. Suddenly, a very male body collided with her own small frame.

"Oi! Watch out, Granger!" Draco Malfoy snapped, as he kept on walking without a backwards glance.

Out of habit, Hermione glared at his retreating back. He turned and winked at her and she stuck her tongue out. He smirked and gave her a little wave before turning back and heading towards the train to find an empty compartment. She allowed herself a small smile as she thoguht back to all of them working side-by-side this past summer. Years ago, if someone had told her that the Golden Trio would eventually become friends with arrogant prat extraordinaire Draco Malfoy, she would've laughed in their face and told them they needed to share a room with Looney Lockhart at St. Mungos. She was torn from her reverie as two sets of strong arms enveloped her in a bone-crushing hug.

"Mione!" the two males exclaimed in unison.

"Harry! Ron! I love you both..but I...can't...breathe!" Instantly, the death grip lessened and she took in a gulp of much needed air.

"Sweet Circe, you'd think you two hadn't spent practically every day with her over the summer the way you're acting," Ginny piped in as she stepped out from behind Harry. The two girls embraced briefly. "I'm so glad you lot decided to come back this year," she said as she glanced around, looking for other people she might recognize.

"Hey Mione, any sign of Malfoy yet?" Ron asked, as his eyes did a quick scan of the area.

"Oh yeah, he's already on the train. He made a big production of bumping into me to say hello," she responded with a smirk. Harry and Ron regarded their friend and then turned to each other.

"Mate, we really need to tell Malfoy to tone down the smirking when Hermione's around. The ferret is rubbing off on her," Harry said. Ron nodded with a smile.

"Oh shove off you two!" she said playfully. "Let's go get a compartment."

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The train ride was quiet, each occupant lost in their own thoughts. Upon reaching the grounds, they prepared to get into the carriages. The older students stopped and stared, each of their faces taking on a look of reverence. Some of the younger students were trying to figure out what the older ones were doing.

"What are they looking at?" one boy asked to no one in particular.

"They see the Thestrals," the boy next to him said quietly.

"What are Thestrals?"

"Horse-like creatures that pull the carriages."

"I wish I could see them." The boys locked eyes for the first time during their conversation.

"No you don't, trust me."

"Can you see them?"

"Yes."

"Could you describe them to me?" Just then Hagrid called for the first years.

"Maybe later," he murmured, before heading towards the half-giant who was currently ushering first years into the boats.

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Everyone was seated at their respective house tables in the Great Hall. Though each house had gained a decent amount of new additions, the Great Hall still looked barren to the older students. Hermione tried not to put names to the empty seats. Harry, as if sensing her melancholy, squeezed her hand under the table. She turned and smiled at him, though it more closely resembled a wince.

"I wonder who our new Potions professor is going to be," Ron said absentmindedly while staring at the staff table. Hermione glanced through her lashes at the seat that Professor Snape had occupied ever since she started Hogwarts. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she looked away quickly.

"Whoever it is, they probably won't be half the professor that Professor Snape was," she said quietly. Harry nodded in agreement beside her.

"You know what else is strange? McGonagall isn't in the Headmaster's seat," Ron added as an afterthought. As if on cue, Professor McGonagall rose from her chair and approached the podium.

"If I could have everyone's attention please." The room instantly quieted. "I'm sure a lot of you are curious as to who the new Headmaster and Potions professor are." She paused briefly. "I must ask that you all remain calm." Another pause. She turned to her side a bit looking behind herself. She seemed uncharacteristically anxious. Out from behind the velvet curtain stepped none other than Albus Dumbledore. He approached the podium, eyes twinkling madly. Harry and Hermione looked at each other, tears welling in their eyes. The silence in the room was deafening. The Headmaster took in the shocked expressions of his students and felt a twinge of guilt, which only multiplied when he looked at the Gryffindor table. Without warning, the room erupted into applause. The old man smiled and then held up a hand and the room went silent again.

"First of all, I'd like to welcome you all to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Some of you I'd like to welcome _back,_" he said with a smile and a wink. "Without further ado, I'd also like to welcome back our esteemed Potions master, Professor Severus Snape."

He gestured towards the curtain and Snape walked up to the table and stood behind his chair. Hermione's heart pounded erratically against her ribcage. What happened next shocked Snape but his face never betrayed his surprise. Harry Potter stood from his seat and started clapping. Next stood Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley, shortly followed by the rest of the Gryffindor table, and soon the entire room. The Great Hall thundered with applause and even a few whistles were heard. Harry and Hermione were crying and smiling at the same time. In turn, Snape surprised the students when he didn't scoff or sneer, but nodded his head at all of them and calmly took his seat.


	3. Drag

Hello to all my lovely readers! Thank you for your reviews. I want to apologize in advance for any errors you may find in this chapter. I briefly looked over it so there may be some that I missed. I was just so anxious to get the new chapter out to you guys! :) The song I listened to while writing this was _**Drag by Placebo. **_I'm sorry for the lack of Snape thus far, but he'll be more prominent in later chapters, trust me. I think that's it, I hope I'm not forgetting anything. Enjoy!

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Hermione didn't sleep well that night, for her mind was on overdrive. She couldn't believe that Professor Snape was alive, let alone that the Headmaster had survived as well. Though if she were honest with herself, she was only happy for Harry that the latter of the two survived. In the back of her mind, there was the notion that such a thought somehow made her a horrible person but she quickly dismissed it. He was, after all, ready and willing to hand her over to He- Who -Was- A- Frigid- Lunatic- Asshole. Besides, there was no doubt in her mind that he would be able to talk himself out of any backlash that might occur if anyone else found out about his little plan. She decided not to dwell on those particular thoughts because she was sure Harry would demand answers soon enough.

Instead, she let her mind wander to Professor Snape. She couldn't understand why she was practically beaming because the man was alive. It wasn't like he was ever kind to her, or anyone else for that matter. _But he __**was**__ kind to you, _a little voice said. She sighed and once again tried to get comfortable in her bed. Her brain sensed her desire to move onto another subject and tauntingly made her aware of her nervousness regarding the upcoming Potions class. She always prided herself on being one of the few students who didn't squirm under Professor Snape's imposing demeanor. Her current thoughts and feelings concerning that man both unnerved and confused her. Whilst rubbing her eyes, an image flashed in her mind. It was during the feast, right after he walked out from behind the curtain and he was looking out into the sea of students. She couldn't be sure, but she swore his eyes lingered on her. She saw something in his face that she didn't understand. Even now it eluded her and that is what frustrated her the most.

"This is utterly ridiculous. Go to bed, Hermione," she muttered to herself. Her brain complied...eventually.

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Morning arrived much too soon for Hermione's liking. She met up with her friends in the Gryffindor common room and they proceeded to head towards the Great Hall for breakfast. On their way. they noticed Draco standing off to the side of the hallway looking rather lost.

"What do you suppose is wrong with him?" Ron asked.

Hermione bit her lip. "Well, Professor Snape is his godfather and from the look on his face in the Great Hall yesterday, I'd guess that he didn't know he was alive."

"Maybe someone should go check on him," Harry said. The friends all looked at each other expectantly.

"Oh honestly! And you call yourselves Gryffindors!" Hermione admonished, then turned and walked towards Draco. She swallowed nervously. This was uncharted territory. It was strange to be moving towards Draco Malfoy in the hallway rather than away, which was the norm for so many years. "Draco, are you alright?" He looked up, startled, and the emotion whirling in his eyes shocked her. His eyes seemed darker, the color of heavy rainclouds.

"He didn't even tell me he had survived. Then I come back here...trying to...I don't know what exactly...and then here he is, alive and well. I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around it, you know? And I fluctuate between furious and relieved." He swallowed thickly and looked at her for the first time during his admission.

She offered him a reassuring smile. "His being here is a shock to everyone, but I can't really imagine how hard this must be for you. I know that we just recently started being civil with each other, but we are all here if you need us, Draco. Me, Harry, Ron, and Ginny. I'd like to think we are well on our way to becoming friends."

He nodded at her slowly. "This is new to me. I've never had real friends, nor do I remember ever being a friend to anyone. You guys are going to have to be patient with me, as it's all very different for me."

"Well, we put up with you for seven years and somehow managed to refrain from killing you, so I think we'll be alright." She smirked.

He raised an eyebrow. "Hermione Granger, did you just _smirk _at me?" he asked incredulously.

The smirk widened into a grin. "Yes, Harry and Ron are worried that you're rubbing off on me."

"Ah, I'm corrupting their little Mione," he said dramatically. They both shared a laugh and Draco finally noticed their friends lurking further down the hall, watching with rapt attention. "You're still the brave lioness of the pride, I see," he drawled casually. She followed his gaze and began to laugh again.

"It's a tough job but someone has to do it," she replied, barely keeping a straight face.

He offered her his arm. "Shall we go to breakfast?" She looked from his arm to his face. He rolled his eyes and tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow and began walking towards their odd little group. "I swear, you Muggle-borns are so uncivilized."

"Spoken like a true haughty pure-blood." They exchanged smiles, glad they could engage in this kind of banter with neither offended anymore.

The guys easily fell into a heated debate about quidditch, while the girls discussed their classes. Upon entering the Great Hall, they parted ways with Draco as they took seats at their respective tables. Hermione glanced up at the staff table and was met with Professor Snape's coal black gaze. She quickly averted her eyes to her plate. Her mouth felt dry, but as she reached for her pumpkin juice she accidentally knocked it over. Muttering a quick apology, she vanished the mess and reached for the pitcher to refill her glass.

"Are you alright, Hermione?" Ginny asked, as she pushed Hermione's hand away and refilled her glass for her.

"Yes I'm fine Gin, I just didn't sleep well last night," she replied distantly.

"What's the matter Mione? I never took you for someone who got nervous about school," Ron replied, after just shoveling a fork full of eggs into his mouth.

"Ronald Weasley, how many times have I told you not to talk with your mouth full?!"

"Only about a million, _Mum,_" he teased. She glowered at him and then quickly stood from the table.

"I'm going to the library. I'll see you two in Arithmancy," she said as she glanced between Harry and Ron. Hefting her bag onto her shoulder, she practically ran from the Great Hall.

Little did she know that Snape had watched the entire scene with keen interest from around the corner of his copy of The Daily Prophet. _Something isn't quite right with Miss Granger, _he mused as he watched her scurry out the door.

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Hermione's day didn't get any better. For some unknown reason, she couldn't get her mind to focus on anything other than Professor Snape. The more she thought of him, the more she wanted to cry. Emotions weren't her forte, as most of the time they were irrational at best, and her logical mind couldn't reason them out. By the time Potions class rolled around, she was exhausted from trying to figure herself out. Her stomach was in knots when she pushed open the door to the classroom. She was early so of course she was the only person there, or so she thought. She saw him out of the corner of her eye before she heard the scratching of his quill on parchment. She swallowed the lump in her throat, walked to one of the desks, and quietly set her bag on the floor.

"Miss Granger," Snape drawled softly, without looking up from what he was doing.

"Sir?" One corner of his mouth turned up, but Hermione couldn't see it because his face was obscured by a curtain of hair.

"Good afternoon," he said and finally looked up at her.

"Good afternoon, sir," she replied as she took her seat. He fixed her with a penetrative stare briefly and then went back to writing. She took this moment to observe him. It was odd to see him seated at his desk. He normally walked the classroom with a predatory gait, reminiscent of a panther stalking its prey.

"I'd like to see you after class, Miss Granger," he said quietly.

"Of course, sir."

Students began filing in. Harry and Ron sat at the desk in front of her and Dean Thomas took the seat next to her. Draco walked in. He looked at Hermione and she mouthed, 'Are you okay?'. He gave her a brief nod and took a seat next to Blaise. Once everyone was seated, Snape stood from his desk and walked to the front of the class. He staggered slightly, and Harry, being the closest to him, posed to stand.

"I'm fine, Mr. Potter. Remain in your seat," he said stoically. Harry relaxed, but only slightly. "Today, we're going to do things a bit differently. We are going to be brewing a complex potion tomorrow and this class period will be spent studying up on said potion." He paused briefly. "The information you will need can be found on page 335 of your texts. The assignment that is due at the end of class is outlined on the board for you. You may begin." His voice lost its silkiness towards the end of his speech, and took on a rough, labored quality. Some people, namely Draco, Harry, and Hermione we concerned, but diligently got to work on their assignment. Knowing Snape's temperament, it wouldn't be wise to voice their worry. At the end of class everyone turned in their papers and Hermione told the three guys waiting for her that Professor Snape asked her to stay after. Draco said he would tell Professor Flitwick that she would be late before he, Harry, and Ron left to go to Charms. After the last student left, Hermione approached Professor Snape's desk.

"Sir, what was it you..." she trailed off as she noticed the stirring rods she had placed on his grave sitting on his desk atop a green velvet cloth. He followed the direction of her gaze and cleared his throat.

"Ah yes, I wanted to thank you for those. They're very...nice."

Hermione swallowed. "Y...you're welcome, sir." He noticed her visibly pale and then she began to tremble. He swiftly stood.

"Miss Granger, are you alright?" When she looked up at him, he understood why she was shaking. Her face was wet with tears. This was something he was hoping to avoid. He had no experience with emotional women. He hesitantly lifted his arm and patted her shoulder. "It's alright, Miss Granger." Without thinking, Hermione leaned into him and wrapped her arms around his waist and cried into his chest. Snape's eyes widened as he looked down at the curly mass of brown hair buried in the front of his robes. The poor girl was clinging to him as if her life depended on it. He wavered for a fleeting moment and then slid an unsteady arm around her shoulders. By this time, she was sobbing and muttering incoherently. "Miss Granger...it's alright...I'm here. I'm not going anywhere," he replied soothingly to her mumblings His other hand came up and rubbed her back of its own accord. She slowly came to her senses and gasped as she pulled back to look at him.

"I'm so sorry, sir! I didn't mean to..."

"It's fine, Miss Granger. These things happen."

"Yes, well...I'm sorry I wasted time by acting like a blubbering emotional idiot," she lamented, as she looked anywhere but at Professor Snape's face.

"Miss Granger, please stop apologizing. It is unnecessary. And I do believe my face is up here." Her head snapped up immediately and she stared at him with wide teary eyes. He realized he was still holding her and let go, moving around his desk to sit down. He grabbed a scrap of parchment and his quill. "I believe I heard Mr. Malfoy saying you had Charms next, is that correct?"

"Yes, sir. If you don't mind me asking, why did you wish to see me?"

"I simply wanted to thank you for the stirring rods," he replied nonchalantly, as he penned a quick note to Professor Flitwick. Hermione, remembering she had been crying, cast a cleansing spell on her face, as well as a glamour so her face didn't appear red and splotchy. Professor Snape handed her the note and she hefted her bag onto her shoulder before heading towards the door. "Miss Granger?"

"Sir?"

"These stirring rods must have cost a small fortune. Why would you spend so much money on a dead man?" He hadn't turned to face her when he voiced his question so once again she couldn't read his expression, which was one of confusion.

"Well sir, as I'm sure you are aware, the Ministry awarded us quite a large sum of money. I saved most of mine but I was in the apothecary when I happened upon the stirring rods. They reminded me of you and I just bought them. It was the strangest, most impulsive thing I've ever done," she said pensively. "But I don't regret it," she added quickly.

"That was very...thoughtful of you," he said, his voice taking on a tranquility she had never heard before.

"I'm glad you like them, sir." She went to open the door but turned back to him. "Professor Snape?" An incline of his head was the only response she received. She took a deep breath. "I'm really happy you're still here, sir."

"Off to class with you, Miss Granger," he said, his voice hoarse. He turned his head and nodded at her and she gave him a tiny smile before she left. It was only after the door closed behind her that he allowed himself a small smile as well.


	4. You Haven't Told Me Anything

Sorry for taking so long to get the next chapter out guys! Life has been hectic and hasn't left me much time for writing, but I squeezed it in wherever I could so I could get this chapter out to you in a timely manner! The song I was listening to while writing this was _**You Haven't Told Me Anything by Keane. **_The next chapter is going to explain how Snape survived! Thanks for reading and please review!

Quick review response:

**Loyd1989:** Yes, Severus does have issues from the attack. I'll go into more detail about the extent of those issues in later chapters. Thank you for reviewing!

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Hermione was on point with her assumption that Harry would go looking for answers. Saturday afternoon found the Golden Trio in the Headmaster's office politely declining all manner of Muggle sweets.

"Headmaster, forgive me for sounding rude, but it seems as though you're stalling," Hermione said, trying not to sound annoyed. The old man looked at her over his half-moon spectacles and smiled.

"I'm afraid it is I who should be asking for forgiveness, Miss Granger," he replied forlornly. "I'm sorry I had to keep myself hidden from you for so long." _Hidden? They thought the man was dead!, _Hermione thought angrily.

"Sir, we understand you're sorry. What we don't understand is how you survived at all," Harry said, leaning forward in his seat.

"Of course. Where shall I begin? I suppose I should give you a little bit of background information. As you all know, Professor Snape was my spy. However, in order for that to be beneficial to the Order, he had to remain in good standing with Tom. In the past half a year before my death, it seemed as though Severus was falling out of Tom's good graces. I simply could not let that happen. My original plan fell through." At this time, he paused and discreetly glanced at Hermione, something that was not lost on her. "I told Severus he needed to do something to ensure that his loyalty to Tom was never brought into question again. I came to the conclusion that if Severus killed me, that Tom would be far more trusting of him, not to mention pleased with his performance as a loyal Death Eater. Severus of course outright refused, but after not speaking to me for a number of days he came to me with a solution of his own. He told me of a spell he happened upon in his research. It is called the Illusory Death. Basically, it can mimic the killing curse and any witnesses to it will see the the person it was cast at die in whichever fashion the caster of the spell envisions. Obviously, given the location, Severus envisioned me falling from the tower and so that is what everyone present saw happen to me." He paused again to allow the three of them to absorb what he had said.

"But Sir, I _saw _you on the ground!" Harry exclaimed.

"It's part of the illusion, Harry. If you saw someone fall off a tower, you would expect them to be lying directly below the spot from which they fell," Hermione explained.

"So what happened to you then? Where were you all this time?" Ron asked.

"A very good question, Mr. Weasley. I must tell you that the Illusory Death originated from very old, very powerful, and very dark magic. Only someone of a sound mind should attempt to use it. Severus and I did several trial runs to make sure he would be able to cast the spell successfully. Since what the witnesses see is an illusion, the real person has to go somewhere. In order for this to be accomplished, the caster of the spell must be able to first cast the spell, envision the death, and then apparate the other person with their mind to a safe location." Harry and Hermione glanced at each other and shared a smile.

"If anyone could execute such a complex spell, it would be Professor Snape. He's brilliant," Harry explained to Dumbledore, after noticing the look of confusion on the old wizard's face regarding he and Hermione's interaction.

"Ah yes, Severus is quite a brilliant wizard," the Headmaster responded fondly. Ron cleared his throat.

"But Headmaster, where did you _go? _ Where have you been all this time?"

"Excuse this old man for going off on a tangent, Mr. Weasley. To answer the other half of your question, Professor Snape owns an estate that he inherited from his mother's side of the family. It is unplottable and only he and I have knowledge of the property. He apparated me there after he 'killed' me."

"I understand you couldn't contact anyone while Voldemore was still alive, but after that why did you remain in hiding?" Harry asked quietly, brows furrowed. _Let's see you talk your way out of this Headmaster, _Hermione thought, crossing her arms over her chest and fixing him with an expectant look. Ron was interested in this explanation as well. Harry was his best mate and he watched him agonize over Dumbledore's death. To know that his friend suffered that much pain unnecessarily didn't sit well with him. He found himself growing angrier by the minute but reigned it in for Harry's sake. The Headmaster knew emotions were running high and he tried his best to choose his words carefully.

"Honestly, I thought it best to give everything time to settle down. I know you all fought valiantly during the final batter and that many lives were lost. I didn't believe it was the right time to make my presence known. Dealing with war and death are emotionally taxing enough, I wanted to give everyone time to try and get back to some semblance of normal. That is not to say I never checked on you. Several times I found myself here during the summer, hidden of course, watching all of you working so hard to rebuild the castle. Sometimes I wished I could reveal myself and help you." _He was here...watching us... the whole time..._Hermione fumed silently and then the floodgates opened and all of her anger came crashing down in torrents directed solely at Albus Dumbledore.

"What in the bloody hell is wrong with you?! Harry looked up to you, trusted you, and this is how you repay him?" She shot up from her seat. "He watched you die, saw it with his own eyes! Do you have any idea what that did to him, what it's _still_ doing to him?! Then to find out it was all part of your _grand master plan,_ and that you didn't really die at all. To add insult to injury, you came and watched us rebuilding the castle and struggling to get back to some semblance of normal. You must really get some perverse sense of pleasure out of watching people suffer." She leaned close, so she was right in Dumbledore's face. "Professor Snape was right when he said you were a master of manipulation. We were the puppets and you the puppeteer. Seeing you in this light, you're worse than any Slytherin I've ever known." She stood up straight and gave him one last scathing glance, spun on her heel, and exited his chambers with a slam of the door. Ron stood and looked Dumbledore square in the eye.

"What hurts more, the truth in Hermione's words or the fact that you quite possibly just lost the unwavering faith the three of us so willingly and blindly placed in you? It's like my brother Charlie said: 'People still use other people with a crooked smile.' I never thought that you would be someone that referred to." Ron turned and stalked out of the office, also letting the door slam behind him.

Dumbledore looked to Harry, almost afraid of what the young man was going to say. Harry said nothing as he calmly stood from his seat, nor did he spare the old man a glance as he headed for the door.

"Harry, you must believe me when I say I never meant to hurt you," Dumbledore pleaded.

The only response he received was the soft click of his door closing. This seemingly gentle acceptance of betrayal, of being hurt by the one person he looked up to the most, the look of absolute defeat on the face of the boy who took down Voldemort, is what haunted Albus Dumbledore the most.


	5. Glass Skin

First of all, let me apologize to everyone for taking so long to get the next chapter up. Life has been crazy and still is, but I'll try my best to not have such a long stretch in between chapters again.

The song I listened to during this chapter was Glass Skin by Dir en grey. For those of you who don't know, they're a Japanese band but this is one of the songs there is also an English version of in case any of you actually go check out the songs I mention in each chapter lol. I listened to the Japanese version because I just think it sounds better..but that's just me. Anyway, I picked this song because it seemed to identify with both Snape and Draco at different points.

I'm not particularly thrilled with how this chapter turned out but I'm my own worst critic. Let me know what you all thought of it please! Thanks for reading!

* * *

"Draco, I'm sure you're curious as to why I asked you to come see me," Professor Snape began as he took a seat across from the young man. Draco simply nodded, unable to find his voice. " I believe I owe you an explanation for my extended absence. After the war, I thought it best to lay low for awhile. I'm sure any remaining Death Eaters weren't too happy to find out I was a spy for the Order. I didn't want to put anyone in unnecessary danger by revealing I was alive."

"I understand, sir," Draco said dubiously.

Snape regarded his godson, once the scared boy who seemingly overnight had transformed into a man. He realized as he held Draco's grey-eyed stare that understanding did not always equal forgiveness. Something told him that perhaps he had wounded the young man more deeply than he originally thought. He knew he should attempt to apologize but honestly what good would that do?

"Sir, if that is all, I have some studying to do."

"Of course, don't let me keep you from your studies."

With a mumbled thank you, Draco all but fled from the office. Snape sighed and ran a hand over his face and instantly regretted the movement when a sharp pain shot down his arm. Muttering curses under his breath, he gingerly got to his feet to go speak to the Headmaster about the possibility of getting a temporary assistant. Upon entering the Headmaster's office, he found Albus with his head in his hands. The older man looked up as Snape took a seat across from him.

"They all hate me, Severus," he lamented.

"Did you expect them to feel any differently?" came the caustic reply.

"Miss Granger let me have it the worst."

"How surprising."

"Severus, I'm being serious. See for yourself," he said as he pointed to the pensieve behind him.

Even though his muscles still protested movement, he made his way over to the pensieve and peered into it. As he watched the scene unfold before him, he couldn't help but feel a small swell of pride towards the Golden Trio, namely Hermione..._wait, when did she become Hermione to him?_ Shaking his head to clear that particular thought, he excited the memory and regarded Albus.

"It's as much as we deserve and you know it," he finally said quietly.

"I suppose you're right but I had hoped they would understand."

"They understand just fine Albus, but that doesn't mean we are forgiven."

"What do you mean 'we'? They haven't spoken to you, have they?"

"No, but I had the same sort of discussion with Draco prior to coming up here and while he didn't blow up at me like your precious Gryffindors did you, I could tell that he was less than pleased with me." Severus sat back down and looked Albus in the eye. "You know that Miss Granger overheard the two of us arguing about me delivering her to the Dark Lord. You didn't really expect her to just forget about that did you?"

"Of course not, but..."

"Albus, sometimes I wonder how much of your optimism is delusion," he sneered.

Albus gave him a look of disapproval. "Severus, I'm assuming you came up here for a reason other than to berate me."

"Actually yes I did wish to speak to you about something. As you know, I'm still suffering some lingering ailments due to the attack by Nagini. I find myself in need of an assistant. Someone who can help me brew some potions for Poppy and perhaps some other tasks."

"Well, Severus, I'm afraid all of the staff are far too busy to take on any additional work."

"I see. Perhaps a student then?"

Albus' eyes twinkled and Severus knew he was in trouble. "Did you have a particular student in mind?"

"Hermione Granger," he answered immediately.

The old man's eyes twinkled even more. "Miss Granger is an excellent choice. Would you like to ask her or shall I?"

"I'll speak to her after class," he said, eying the Headmaster warily.

"Excellent! Do let me know how it goes."

"Of course, Headmaster. Good evening," Severus said with a small bow and then headed back to the dungeons.

* * *

Later that night, Hermione and Draco met in the Room of Requirement. Hermione noted that Draco seemed upset during dinner and when she asked him about it, he requested they meet here to discuss what was bothering him. She watched him pace the room a few times.

"Draco," she said softly, "come sit down and talk to me."

Draco turned to face her and she noticed his eyes were that same dark grey color they were the other morning before breakfast. She found it strange she never realized how expressive his eyes were. They seemed to change hues depending on his mood. Of course, she didn't spend a lot of time looking into his eyes prior to the war.

"I don't know where to begin," he said softly, pulling Hermione from her musings.

"Just talk. Even if it doesn't make any kind of sense, I've found that sometimes just voicing your thoughts and feelings helps." She thought back to her own ramblings at Professor Snape's grave.

"He said he stayed hidden to protect everyone. While I know he's being honest about that, it's such an un-Slytherin thing to do. Normally, we only look out for ourselves and to hell with everyone else. The more I learn about my godfather, the more he doesn't fit the typical Slytherin mold." Hermione smiled at this. She had long since come to that same conclusion about Professor Snape.

"He really doesn't, does he? Personally, the things I've seen over the last year have taught me that there is a lot more to most people than the particular attributes of the house they were sorted into."

"Mia, I've been betrayed by people before. It never hurt like this."

"It's because you actually care about him," she replied quietly.

He nodded. "Ever since I was a boy, I've always looked up to him and respected him, moreso than my own father. I just don't understand why he didn't find some way to let me know he was alright. Instead, he let me grieve for him and then he just shows up here...and..." Draco trailed off, too choked with emotion to continue.

"Draco, he did it because he cares about you too. He didn't want anything to happen to you because of him. How would you have felt if he revealed to you he had survived and then he ended up getting killed by some crazy Death Eater? What if they found out you knew of his whereabouts and captured you and tortured you for information? How do you think that would make him feel?"

Draco sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "I know. I know what he did was for the best but he didn't even say he was sorry."

Hermione tentatively leaned closer to him and when he didn't move away, she slid her arms around his shoulders and hugged him gently. She was a little surprised when she felt his arms wrap themselves around her waist and pull her closer.

"Thank you for listening, and thank you for being a good friend," he whispered.

"Anytime," she whispered back. He gave her a little squeeze and pulled back slowly. Hermione's eyes flitted to the clock on the mantle. "It's late. We should probably start heading back."

"Can we just stay here? I don't really feel like going back to my room tonight," he said as he gave her a hopeful look.

"Alright, I don't see what it would hurt. Do you want me to invite our friends?"

"What's the matter, Mia? Don't feel like fielding all the questions that are sure to arise about whether or not we shagged?" he teased.

Hermione smirked. "We would have entirely too much fun with that one and you know it."

Draco shook his head. "Who are you and what have you done with Hermione Granger?"

She laughed and then turned serious. "I could ask the same of you. If someone would have told me a year ago that you and I would one day engage in a heart-to-heart, I would've questioned their sanity."

"I'm just full of surprises, aren't I?" he asked and flashed her a small smile.

"You're not the only Slytherin who has surprised me. You better be careful or word may get out that you're actual human beings," she teased.

Draco's brows furrowed in confusion. "What other Slytherin surprised you? Don't they know I'm the only one who's allowed to do that?" he jested back.

Hermione smiled weakly but then her face sobered. "Your godfather. The Headmaster told him he should take me to Voldemort to prove his loyalty. Professor Snape became angry and outright refused. He told the Headmaster to find another solution."

"How did you find out about this?"

"I was doing patrols and heard Professor Snape yelling. Then I hid and listened to the rest of the conversation."

Draco shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe the Headmaster even suggested that! What was he thinking?! Giving you to Voldemort? That would've been suicide for the Order, not to mention Harry. Thankfully, my godfather doesn't suffer from bouts of head-up-ass syndrome and was able to set the Headmaster straight."

Hermione chuckled. "It was crazy. The only reason I even stopped was because Professor Snape yelled; something I've never heard him do before. Even when he was angry with us, he never raised his voice."

Draco was still having trouble believing what he was hearing. "I think we've had enough seriousness for tonight. Let's get the rest of the gang down here and relax for a bit, yeah?"

* * *

The group of friends stayed up until the wee hours of the morning. Eventually Ron and Lavender crashed on one of the three beds in the room. Harry and Ginny soon followed suit. Draco crawled into bed and held the covers open for Hermione.

"Come on in, love," he cooed. She rolled her eyes but smiled as she crawled in next to him. He laid the covers over her and draped his arm over her waist. "Is this alright?"

"Yes, it's fine."

"Good night, Mia."

"Good night, Draco."

In the moments before she drifted off to sleep, Hermione reflected on how close she and Draco had become. She was truly glad they were friends. He wasn't joking when he said he was full of surprises. Little did she know, that come tomorrow Professor Snape would surprise her yet again as well.


	6. We Never Can Truly Know Who We Are

Thank you to everyone who took the time to review. This is a short chapter, but in my defense it took off in a completely different direction than what I had in mind. I blame it on the song I was listening to. It's called _End Transmission by AFI. _Normally when I'm choosing a song to write to, I try to pick one that helps me identify better with the emotions of the character I'm dealing with. That wasn't the case with this chapter because there weren't really any emotions to be dealt with, or so I thought. :) Like I said, it took on a life of its' own. That being said, this chapter is brought to you by AFI and Jagermeister. :) I hope you enjoy this next installment and please leave me a review!

* * *

Hermione was early to Potions class on Monday. Professor Snape was seated at his desk again, only this time he was watching the door as though he was waiting for someone. Upon her arrival, his eyes shifted to her.

"Good afternoon, Miss Granger," he said hoarsely.

"Good afternoon, sir," she said with a smile as she took her seat.

"There's something I wish to discuss with you. Are you available this evening?"

Hermione did her best to hide her curiosity. "Yes, sir tonight would be fine."

"Is after dinner convenient for you?"

"Of course, Professor."

"Very well, come to my office after dinner then."

"Yes, sir." She studied him for a moment and saw that he was sweating. "Sir, are you alright?"

She stood from her chair and took a step towards him. Professor Snape nodded in response but she noticed his gaze was unfocused. She quickly went to the back of the classroom and filled a glass with water and took it to him. He grasped the glass but a tremor shot through his arm making it impossible for him to lift it. He gritted his teeth and fought the urge to hurl the glass across the room in frustration. He absolutely hated showing weakness in front of anyone.

"May I?" His angry retort died on his lips when he looked up and saw genuine concern shining in her eyes. He let go of the glass and she took it, guiding it to his lips and letting him take a drink.

"Thank you," he said softly, not meeting her eyes. Hermione gazed down at him, her expression unreadable.

"You're welcome. Would you like me to get the Headmaster?"

"No, I don't think that will be necessary," he replied, almost indignantly.

Hermione wasn't convinced. "Sir, forgive me for saying so, but you don't seem well."

Snape wasn't used to people being concerned for his well-being, therefore he never had the appropriate response. However, when he looked up at her to deliver his scathing remark, his vision blurred and he ended up slumping against her after losing consciousness. When he finally came to, he was in his bed. He walked out into the other room and found the Headmaster seated in a chair by the fire.

"How are you feeling? You gave Miss Granger quite a scare. She's been checking on you every hour," Albus said with a chuckle.

"Every hour? How long have I been out?"

"About five hours. You just missed dinner."

"Do you know exactly what happened? The details aren't clear to me."

"From what Miss Granger told me, you didn't seem to be acting like yourself. Your voice was raspy, your eyes were unfocused, and then you lost consciousness and slumped against her."

Snape pinched the bridge of his nose. "Wonderful," he bit out sarcastically.

Just then, one of the elves appeared in front of the Headmaster. "Miss Granger sent Nippy to check on Professor Snape," the elf said meekly while bouncing anxiously from one foot to the other.

"Tell Miss Granger that she can come down here now for our meeting. Also, please bring down some sandwiches and tea." The elf nodded then disappeared. She reappeared with a tray of food and winked out again just as there was a knock at the door. "Enter," Snape said evenly. Hermione entered the living area and saw Professor Snape and the Headmaster talking quietly. The Headmaster looked up at her and stood.

"Well Severus, I believe I'll take my leave now. You two have much to discuss. Good evening, Miss Granger."

"Good evening, Headmaster." After he left, Hermione turned her attention to Snape.

"Please come in and make yourself comfortable, Miss Granger. Help yourself to anything you'd like," he said as he gestured to the tray.

She sat down on the couch and made herself a cup of tea. Snape sat down in his chair and busied himself with making a cup of tea as well. Hermione noted he looked better, but his movements weren't as fluid as normal. She was quite worried about him.

"Professor, how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, Miss Granger," he responded tiredly.

"If I can be so bold sir, I don't think you are. What happened today only served to solidify that fact. I understand that it's none of my business, but please don't insult my intelligence. I know that there's something wrong with you." Snape silently studied her, his dark eyes boring into her own. He looked away from her and into the fire as he spoke.

"Yet again, you've come to the correct conclusion. Consequently, that is the reason for this meeting. I am in need of an assistant. My ailments prevent me from completing all my usual tasks. This includes brewing potions for Madame Pomphrey. For the most part, the extra brewing is the only thing I will require assistance with. The Headmaster has informed me that the rest of the staff is too busy and so I must look to the student body. I thought perhaps something of this nature may be of interest to you. It would only be temporary, as my symptoms will eventually dissipate. Do you wish to assist me?" Snape finally looked back at her.

"Yes, sir. Thank you for giving me this opportunity. If you don't mind me asking, what exactly is wrong with you? I'm assuming it has something to do with the attack by Nagini."

Snape's eyes hardened. "Contrary to your belief, it's not necessary for you to know _everything. _The extent of my illness is not your concern. We are not friends, Miss Granger. I am the teacher, you are the student, and we will maintain our respective roles even during these sessions. Have I made myself clear?" He noticed shame and sadness in her eyes before she cast her gaze downward.

"Yes, sir," she replied quietly.

"Good, then you are dismissed. I will inform you when I am in need of your assistance." Though she felt like fleeing, Hermione calmly walked to the door and let herself out.

Snape sighed and put his head in his hands. He felt awful for being such a callous bastard towards Hermione. She expressed worry and concern for him and he had responded with acerbity. Past experience had taught him that apologizing was futile and never yielded the desired result. Yet for some reason, for the first time in many years, he felt compelled to try.


	7. Those Words That Are Too Fragile

Hey guys! I know it's been something insane like 4 months since my last update so unfortunately I'm not doing review responses this time. I'm having a duditz moment and can't figure out how to get to my reviews so I can read them! Sorry! Anyway, I hope this chapter satisfies you guys, it was giving me grief towards the end and I had some hellacious writer's block! And I think it's the longest one so hopefully it makes up for the lack of an update lol. The song I was listening to while writing is Ware, Yami Tote... by Dir en grey. This song doesn't have an English version, it's all in Japanese but if anyone wants the English lyrics I'd be happy to send them to you. Thanks for being patient with me, please feed the muse on your way out! ;)

Hermione and Draco hung back from their friends on the way to breakfast.

"I just wish I could understand him better," Hermione whispered.

Draco gave her a lopsided grin. "Love, I've known the man for years and I still don't understand him. He's an enigma."

"I know, but he just seems..._ different_ somehow. Haven't you noticed?"

He regarded her for a long moment. "Honestly, no. He seems pretty much the same to me."

Hermione's brows furrowed. "I can't pinpoint what exactly is different, but..." A thought occurred to her and she abruptly stopped speaking. She gave Draco a small smile. "Maybe you're right."

"Don't dwell on it too much, yeah? We don't need you becoming more insane than you already are," he said, as he bumped into her playfully. She stuck her tongue out and shoved him a little in jest. They entered the Great Hall laughing and both were still chuckling when they took seats at their respective tables. Unbeknownst to them, Professor Snape had watched their entrance with curious eyes.

Hermione was busy filling her plate when she felt something on her shoulder. Turning her head, she saw a bird made out of parchment paper, definitely the work of Draco. She gingerly plucked it off her shoulder and opened it.

_"My godfather has been staring at you with this strange expression on his face since we came in. Maybe there is something to what you were saying earlier." _Hermione's eyes widened and her heart fluttered a bit in her chest. _Stop it, you silly girl, _she chided herself. She quickly wrote back.

_"How can you be so sure he's looking at me? Perhaps he's trying to smote all the Gryffindors with one of his famous glares." _Upon reading Hermione's response, Draco did something very unbecoming of a Malfoy; he _snorted. _ He smirked as he sent his reply. Hermione read what he wrote, her jaw nearly hitting the floor.

_"Maybe he fancies you." _Draco nearly laughed out loud at her reply. He could just picture her facial expression.

_"Don't be ridiculous! What would he, a grown man, possibly see in a girl like me?"_

As Albus Dumbledore watched the origami-style missives going back and forth between the Slytherin and Gryffindor tables, an idea occurred to him.

"If I could have everyone's attention please," he said, as he stood from his seat at the staff table. "I would like to propose a new idea. I know that many of you have friends in other houses. Therefore, tonight at dinner, please feel free to sit anywhere you like. I believe this will make it easier to talk to your friends who would normally be on the other side of the room and you won't have to invent other ways of communicating," he said, with a twinkle in his eye. "Have a good day of classes!"

When the Gryffindors met up with their Slytherin friend, Hermione was giggling and Draco was wearing his trademark Malfoy smirk.

"We're such trendsetters, Mia," he sighed, as he draped his arm over her shoulders.

By the time Potions rolled around, Hermione was exhausted. No one knew it, but she was dealing with some post-war trauma of her own. She had vivid nightmares. Sometimes, she dreamt of things that happened, and other times, she dreamt of horrors unimaginable. She was fortunate to not have lost anyone she was terribly close to during the war. Some of her friends were not so lucky and that's why she never told anyone about her nightmares. They seemed to pale in comparison to losing a loved one. Her body sagged into Draco's as they walked into Potions class.

"Hermione, are you alright?" She looked up into Draco's concerned face and began to nod, but without warning, the room began to spin and everything went black.

When she awoke, Hermione was in the hospital wing. She noticed Professor Snape was seated in a chair by her bed.

"Professor, what happened?" she asked, whilst rubbing her eyes.

"You fainted. Do you care to tell me how long you've been having trouble sleeping and why?"

Hermione pushed herself up into a sitting position and stared into her lap. "I've been having nightmares since the end of the war," she said quietly. She could feel his eyes on her, but she didn't dare look up.

"Have you ever tried Dreamless Sleep?"

"No, it's addictive and I was worried I would become too dependent on it."

"Your nightmares are that terrible?" he asked softly. His voice was filled with such tenderness that she had to look up to see if his facial expression had changed as well. His eyes were soft, curious. She quickly tore her gaze away, fixating once more on her hands in her lap.

"Sometimes, the things I see are so horrifying that I am both afraid and unable to go back to sleep." She heard rustling and looked up to see Professor Snape pulling a vial out of his robes. He placed it on the table next to her bed.

"I was able to modify the Dreamless Sleep potion and make it non-habit forming. I'd like you to give this version a try." She looked from the potion to his face and nodded, giving him a small smile. He cleared his throat. "I find it surprising that Mr. Potter let you carry on like this, suffering with such little sleep that it causes your body to shut down."

"No one knows about my nightmares," she admitted quietly. "They seem so trivial compared to what some people have went through."

"Your self-less to a fault."

"I hope you don't take this the wrong way sir, but I believe that's the pot calling the kettle black," she said, with a shy smile.

"I simply did what I had to do."

"You didn't _have _to do any of that. A lot of people owe you their lives and some of them don't even know it." Professor Snape swallowed thickly and Hermione quickly back-pedaled. "Forgive me sir, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. _It's now or never,_ Snape thought.

"Miss Granger, I believe it is I who owe you..." At that moment, Madamy Pomphrey came bustling over and the rest of Snape's sentence died on his lips.

"Oh good Miss Granger, you're awake. I need to take your vitals before you go back to sleep." Hermione looked up at Professor Snape and he answered her silent question with a shake of his head.

"We can finish our discussion another time, Miss Granger."

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. I can come back later if you'd like," Madame Pomphrey said. The moment was brief and Snape found he had lost his nerve.

"No that's alright, Madame Pomphrey, it's nothing that can't wait. By the way, I left some of the modified Dreamless Sleep for Miss Granger."

"I'll see that she takes it Professor Snape, thank you."

Snape gave her a curt nod and turned his attention back to Hermione. "Hopefully this will help you rest a bit better this evening. Good night, Miss Granger."

"Good night, Professor," she replied with a smile. Nodding briefly at both women, Snape turned on his heel and exited the hospital wing. Hermione watched his billowing robes until they melded with the darkness, and he disappeared.

With a few flicks of Madame Pomphrey's wand, Hermione's vitals were checked.

"Well, Miss Granger, everything seems to be in order but I'd like you to stay here while you sleep just in case you have a reaction to the potion."

"Of course, Madame Pomphrey."

"If you need anything, I'll be in my office," the medi-witch said, as she headed in that direction.

Once Hermione was alone, she stared at the vial for quite some time before she uncorked it. With a pensive look on her face, she swallowed half and set the vial back down. In her last moments before sleep took her, she wondered what Professor Snape would have said had they not been interrupted.

Hermione awoke a few hours later at approximately two in the morning. "Madame Pomphrey?" she called into the darkness, not expecting a response.

"Yes dear?" the medi-witch peered around the corner at her.

"I was just wondering if I could go back to Gryffindor Tower now. I think I'd get better rested in my own bed."

"Of course, Miss Granger. Just let me check you over and you can be on your way."

Once Hermione received a clean bill of health, she headed back towards her room. About half way there, she turned and headed for the dungeons instead. She stood and stared at Professor Snape's door for what seemed like an eternity before she finally raised her hand and knocked. When he opened the door, Professor Snape was shocked to see Hermione on the other side.

"Miss Granger, why aren't you sleeping? The potion shouldn't have worn off yet."

"I only took half of it."

"Why?" he drawled slowly.

"I wanted to know what you were going to say earlier before Madame Pomphrey interrupted us."

"So you decided to deprive yourself of sleep so we could finish our conversation." When he put it that way, it made Hermione feel like a moron. She knew the curiosity would eat away at her during her waking hours though. It was then that Snape noticed her shivering and inwardly cursed himself. Placing a hesitant hand on her back, he ushered her inside and over to the fireplace. "Forgive me, Miss Granger. I sometimes forget how cold the dungeons can be to someone who isn't used to them."

"It's quite alright, sir."

"Would you like some tea?"

"Tea would be nice, thank you." Hermione did her best to hide her surprise as she watched Professor Snape walk over to his small kitchenette and put on a kettle for tea.

"Do you like Earl Grey?" he asked, and half-turned to hear her reply.

"Yes, it's my favorite."

"Mine as well." He turned back towards the stove and placed the tea on a tray. He carried it over and placed it on the table between his chair and the one Hermione was seated in. Snape watched as she added milk and two sugar cubes to her tea and waited until she had taken her mug off the tray and took a sip before he took his own. When he looked up at her again, she was smiling at him from around her mug. He raised an eyebrow at her.

"You reminded me of my father just now. He always waits until Mum and I have our tea before he will take a single sip of his. He also takes his tea plain, like you."

"Any decent gentleman always lets the lady sample her tea first," Snape replied, somewhat stiffly.

Her smile widened. "I know. Mum and I like to give Dad a hard time about it sometimes, and that's always his response as well."

"I see," he replied with a smirk.

"The tea is excellent, by the way. Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said quietly, as he turned his attention to the fire crackling in the hearth. Hermione watched him for a moment before she turned her gaze to the fire as well. "I owe you an apology, Miss Granger."

"An apology for what, sir?" she asked in a confused tone, as she turned to look at him.

"For my reaction when you asked about the details of my condition the other day. My outburst was uncalled for."

"It's quite alright, sir."

Snape went on as though he didn't hear her. "You must understand that I'm not used to people expressing concern for my well-being. Very early on, I learned to accept such behavior as weak. However, there are certain people who are teaching me that that is not always the case." He paused and gave her a meaningful look, something that wasn't lost on her. He set his empty mug on the tray and turned towards her fully, finally looking her in the eyes. "I'm sorry, Hermione."

Hermione studied Professor Snape. His eyes were full of sincerity and warmth, but just beyond that she saw an intense fear. She wondered what he could possibly have to be afraid of.

As the agonizing minutes ticked by, Snape felt his resolve crumbling. His heart thudded loudly in his chest and he could hear his blood roaring through his veins. He felt like a teenager again, reliving the only other time he had apologized to anyone, and how horribly wrong it had gone. His palms were sweaty and it felt like all the air had been sucked from his lungs. He faintly heard someone calling to him. A somewhat violent shake pulled him from the hellish memory. When he looked up, Hermione was grasping his shoulders, worry etched all over her face. What he did next almost floored her. He grasped her wrists and took her hands in his.

"Hermione, do you accept my apology? Please, I need to know." His face took on a desperate look, his eyes pleading. She tried to tell him yes, that there was nothing to forgive, but she couldn't find her voice. Instead, she squeezed his hands and smiled while nodding. When Snape saw her beaming smile, he felt his entire body sag in relief. "Thank you," he murmured quietly.

They stayed with their hands entwined, each lost in their own thoughts, for quite some time. Hermione was the first to come out of it, and cleared her throat nervously.

"I should probably return to my room, Professor."

Snape looked up at the clock on his mantle that read almost four in the morning. "That would be best. Forgive me for keeping you so long. Before you go, there's something I'd like to give you." Standing, he looked down at Hermione, then at their entwined hands, before somewhat reluctantly letting go and heading towards his private stores. He emerged with a vial, which he handed to her. "This is more of the modified Dreamless Sleep. It would put my mind at ease if you would get a decent amount of rest before classes resume on Monday."

"Of course, sir."

"In order to accomplish that, one must drink the _entire _vial, not just half."

She gave him a sheepish grin. "Yes, sir."

"Good." He regarded her for a long moment before he opened his door so she could leave.

"Sir, it seems as though you were going to say something else."

Snape cleared his throat. "I was considering escorting you back to Gryffindor Tower. It's quite late and I don't want Mr. Filch giving you any grief as a result of my detaining you for so long."

"That's very considerate of you, Professor. I would appreciate it." The walk to Gryffindor Tower was quiet but not uncomfortable. When they reached the portrait, Hermione gave Snape a small smile. "Thank you for escorting me, sir. Thank you for the apology as well, it meant a lot to me."

"It meant a great deal to me that you accepted it, so thank you as well, Miss Granger. Remember to get rested up this weekend because I'd like to do some brewing for Madame Pomphrey Monday evening."

"I will, sir."

"Enjoy the rest of your weekend, Miss Granger."

"You too, Professor." She waved back at him as she entered the portrait hole.

As he made his way back to the dungeons, Severus Snape couldn't deny the fact that something in him had changed, nor could he deny the fact that he felt lighter than he had in many years.


End file.
